


Not Now

by Whovian_Overload



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Pregnancy, timebabies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-02
Updated: 2015-04-02
Packaged: 2018-03-20 22:58:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3668370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whovian_Overload/pseuds/Whovian_Overload
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It strikes him like a blow to the chest. The Doctor doesn't even know what triggered the thought or how he's figured it out. All he has been doing was thinking about his wife, his very pregnant wife and perhaps that he should get her to stay with him for the last week or two of her pregnancy, when it clicks. That River, his River, all those many years ago when he hadn't even known that she was his River, his River in pain...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Now

**Author's Note:**

> Okay! So this was an idea I had from a while ago and I /finally/ finished writing it so I hope you enjoy :) This is set in sort of segments of memories, kind of confusing, I know, but bear with me. The things not in italics are the current what is happening now (hence the present tense.) The things in italics are memories for River, but present day for the Doctor. Don't forget to leave a comment!

In all honesty, River Song has never taken the time to imagine or plan out how this moment would happen. She has vaguely thought about having her parents with her at the time, but has never gone into more thought about it. She did, how ever, know the ways she didn't want it to happen. Not in Stormcage -she is sure the guards wouldn’t take it kindly. Not on an adventure -she doesn't need running for her life added on top of the situation.  But, this was not something she wouldn't allow for. She didn't not want to go into labour when she's with a version of the Doctor who barely knows her and she's just about ready to slap the universe upside the head because that is exactly what is happening.

She has to give this one at least a little credit, at least he knows who she is. Almost. Demons Run, for him, has happened with in the past year, but as for the two of them, he's rather clueless. He has kissed her maybe only half a dozen times judging by the sloppy ‘hello’ kiss, which had contained an amount of flailing limbs. He's so childish this young, which usually drew out a chuckle or an eye roll from her, but at the moment, only makes her more panicked. He is nowhere near ready for a baby, let alone ready to be with her for the process of birthing one.

River mostly blames herself for the decisions that have lead her to a younger Doctor’s console room. She has read so many books on Gallifreyan pregnancies and on what to expect, that she should have known what was happening. The last trimester of her pregnancy has been full of all the discomforts one can feel with an extra thirty five pounds constantly pressing down on her hips. She had payed no attention to the ache in her back this morning, thinking it was just another one of those discomforts.

The Gallifreyan gestation process is surprisingly like a human one, the differences slight, but not in River's favor.  Along with a shorter pregnancy of about 30 weeks, Gallifreyans have shorter labours that are on average six to eight hours. This puts River at about hour five with contractions comparably stronger than what a human would experience and a slightly confused looking Doctor between her and the door.

“River did you hear what I said?”

It's hard for her to draw attention away from her breathing. “Huh…?” Her grip on the console railing is tight enough to turn her knuckles white, but she pretends as though he won't notice. She tries to put on a weak smile for him. He won’t be able to see the large bump under her dress while she's wearing her perception filter, but her expression can't be hidden. “Yeah… um sounds lovely…” She says distractedly, not having heard him at all.

“That’s not what I asked. I said: Are you okay? You look a little pale.” He's slowly beginning to learn how to read her expressions  as he opts to spend more time with whatever version of her will show up when he calls.

Her hand unconsciously moves to clutch to swell of her abdomen. She disguises the action as looking like she's feeling nauseous. “I’m feeling quite sick today, love. Would you mind dropping me off at my parent’s house?”

“But what about Alfalva Metraxis? You just got here…” His eyebrows knit together with concern. He has never known River to get sick. Gallifreyans, even part Gallifreyans, have to catch something terrible in order for them to show signs of illness. “Why don’t you stay here? The TARDIS medbay is more equipped than what ever hospital Rory works at.”

“No.” She says a little too quickly, wondering how much longer she'll be able to stand without visibly shaking or doubling over. “I need to go to my parents house.”

He obeys at her stern voice, his questioning eyes scanning over her as he pilots the TARDIS to the Ponds' garden. He takes in each detail of her that he can. Her hand is gripping the railing while the other grips her stomach like she's going to vomit. Her breathing is slightly heavier than normal and perhaps the thin sheen of sweat on her forehead is his imagination. “River, I really think you should at least let me do a scan. You could have something dangerous.”

She shakes her head as the TARDIS lands with a soft thud. “I need to go.” She can’t do this without the Doctor. Without her Doctor.

“Full body scan: River Song.” The Doctor orders the test, not willing to give in so easily.

This only makes her move to the door faster. “Delete scan!" River counters, knowing the TARDIS will listen to her. "Doctor, I said I’m fine, please just-”

“River?” He interrupts, tone higher pitched with his question. His eyes catch sight of something else. A shimmer. “Are you… wearing a perception filter?”

River freezes with her hand on the door knob. “...No.”

He approaches her, “Yes, you are.” His gaze falls on her necklace, instantly recognizing it as a perception filter and combo bio-dampener. He's not sure why he hasn't noticed before, “What are you hiding?”

“I’m not hiding anything.” She lies through clenched teeth, grip tightening on the door again.

“Stop lying to me, River! I’m tired of you lying. I’m tired of ‘spoilers’ and ‘you’ll find out when you’re older’. I’m older now. I know who you are and that means you can’t-”

“But you don’t know, do you.” She interrupts him this time. “You don’t know who I am to you! You who my parents are, but you don’t know me. You haven’t lived through our fights, our dates, our-” She cuts herself off before she can say wedding. “You haven’t lived through the moments are ours and I’m sorry, but until you do than I can’t tell you. Not yet. It’s important that this goes in the right order, important to me and will be to you. Please, just… just leave it.” She screws her eyes shut, unable to hide a wince.

His expression is somewhere between annoyance and a dog that has been kicked. "This isn't something you can dismiss from me. This isn't hiding who you are or what I'm going to get you for Christmas. You're hiding something that's making you sick. I'm not going to just sit back and 'leave it' while someone I care about needs help." He eyes are trained on her every movement, every expression, trying to get anything that will tell him what is going on. He puts a hand on her shoulder in attempt to get her to face him. "Are you in pain?"

"No." She lies again, refusing to look at him. She can't quite say why she hasn't left yet or what causes her to let go of the door, but something in his now soft tone draws the words out of her. "I'm not sick, Doctor. I'm not injured. I just... I can't do this now and I can't do this without you here."

"But I am here. I'm right here." He protests, irritated that he still doesn't know what 'this' is.

"No you're not! Not the you who knows why I'm wearing a bloody perception filter." She bites out. "I'll be fine at my parent's house. Please go... and come back when you know." She walks out the door, doing her best to hold it together for the short distance between the TARDIS and house. A red haired woman is waiting behind the sliding doors with a concerned look.

 

* * *

 

_"I had a cold once. Don't you think this is a little paranoid?" River said, annoyed, as the Doctor stepped out of the TARDIS for the nth time that month. Normally She didn't mind the late night visits, but this Doctor was not looking for an adventure or sex. All this one seemed to be keen on doing was scanning her -for goddess knows what- every single night for the past month. "I'm perfectly healthy, Doctor, I don't understand why you keep insisting on doing this!" She slammed her diary shut and crossed her arms over her chest, refusing to get up from the prison cot._

_"Oh come on, RIver! It's just... for safety. What if you've caught something?" He stood in front of her, tugging on her arm like a child._

_"Where would I catch it from? We haven't gone anywhere on over a month since_ you _keep insisting that we stay in!"_

_"I'm just trying to look out for you Riv-"_

_"Well keeping me caged up is not the same thing!" She wasn't quite shouting, but to the Doctor it felt that way. River got up and pushed past him into the TARDIS._

_"What are you doing?" He followed close behind, acting as though anything she did would cause her suddenly to shatter into a million pieces._

_"I'm taking us somewhere, anywhere, other than here. I'm sick of staying in, we are going out!" She started flipping levers and pushing buttons, causing the TARDIS to lurch into motion._

_The Doctor was silent as the ship flew, knowing that she was absolutely right. There had been nothing abnormal on her scans, not even a trace of a cold. He didn't even know why he was so insistent on it, why he cared so much. He sighed, leaning back against the console and wondered how off in the future the River Song he had encountered a month ago was._

* * *

_There was always something that got in the way. The Ponds with all their excitement and bravery were what he occupied himself with most. Time and time again, his Pond would do anything for the centurion. He thought that maybe one day he would like to have a love like that, someone who would rip apart time just for him. He once thought the idea ridiculous, but it seemed now to be something that he longed for. It was something in the way he saw the Ponds' eyes sparkle or the glances they stole of each other that made him want the same. For some reason, he didn't want to be a lonely man in a blue box anymore, but he was sure that there was hardly a living soul in the universe who he could make that connection with._

_River resurfaced in his mind and he wasn't thinking about the Library or the secrets. He was thinking about her and the way her eyebrows furrow, ever so slightly, in concentration when she read or studied. The way her whole face seemed to light up at something new and exciting and how her hips moved when they run from danger. He didn't want to admit it to himself, but he no longer found the cleaver and sassy woman to be annoying or deceptive._

_He kissed her and chased her like a school boy with a crush. He showed her parts of the universe that shine almost as bright as she does when she smiles. He couldn't quite figure out the word for what he felt when he looked at her, but he knew it must be good. He learned that she likes to sing in the shower and which seat in the library she likes to sit it. He learned what foods she likes for which occasions and mapped all her different expressions. Perhaps girlfriend wasn't the right word for their relationship, neither is lover since kissing is as far as he's gone. Unbeknownst to him, he was starting to live all the moments that were theirs, all the little things that simply belonged to them._

_The day that he realized that he was falling head over heels for this mad woman, he brought her the biggest bouquet of flowers he could find. They just barely fit through the TARDIS doors when he pushed them into her cell. "River! River look, I got you something! I spent a whole day trying to find these and I really think you're going to like-" He stopped himself when he laid eyes on her. She was huddled in her cot, back to him and blanket wrapped tightly around herself. "River?"_

_He heard a sniff and then a cough followed by a muffled and groggy, "Go away."_

_He rushed to her side in an absolute panic, abandoning the flowers in the middle of the room. "River?? Are you okay? Are you hurt? What's wrong??"_

_She poked her red nose out of her cocoon of scratchy blankets. "I'm not hurt, Doctor, I'm sick." She croaked at him, followed by a list of ways he was an idiot._

_His hands flapped wildly about, not knowing what to do, but convinced that this was what had been wrong with River before. "We have to get you to the medbay!"_

_River groaned in annoyance, curling further into her bed. "No, I don't want to move. Just go away and come back when I'm better."_

_"River..." He said objectively, scooping her up in his arms. She was surprisingly light._

_River squirmed and protested, "Hey! Put me down!"_

_"Not until I know you're okay."_

_"Doctor..." She warned, nearly hitting him the face in her haste to get back onto her feet._

_He set her down on the jump seat in the console room, immediately ordering a body scan. River huffed angrily and crossed her arms. It wasn't until she saw her not-quite-husband looking absolutely scared that her expression softened. She was sure why he looked scared, but it clicked that he was very concerned._

_The man exhaled in relief at what the screen showed, his whole body relaxing. She stood and placed a hand on his shoulder. "See? I'm fine. It's just a cold, love." She pulled his head down to hers, kissing his nose softly. "I don't know what you're so worked up about, how about some tea, yeah?"_

_He nodded slowly, letting her lead him to the kitchen. "Will you marry me, River?" The words tumbled out of nowhere, and he immediately blushed, putting a hand over his mouth._

_She laughed, brushing it off easily. "Maybe when you're older."_

* * *

_She paced her cell like a caged animal as she waited for the Doctor to arrive, occasionally glancing to the corner of the room. River had never even considered this to be a remote possibility that could happen to her. No matter how angrily she looked at it, the battered piece of used-to-be-white plastic sitting in the corner of the room did not disappear nor did the information on it change._

_She sat down on her cot with her head in her hands, trying to collect herself enough to tell the Doctor the news. The sound of the TARDIS materializing did not help her with this, causing her hearts to beat faster and her fists to clench with panic._

_"River," The man in question stepped out of the box, frowning at the physic paper in his hands. "I know you were in a hurry to get me here, but your message could have at least been a clearer than this." He looked up at her, raising an eyebrow, then raising both of them as concern spread across his face._

_"When are you?" She asked, disregarding his comment. If she was going do this, than she at least needed to try and do it in the right order._

_"I... I did Treukashii just a week or two ago." He told her slowly. "Why?"_

_She looked slightly relieved knowing that this version was married to her, though the feeling was fleeting. "Good, good... It's just that I, um." She took a breath, already starting to fumble over her words. She wished she had practiced what to say to him before hand. "That was a month ago for me."_

_"Yeah... What is this about?" He came over to her and sat next to her on the bed. He took her hand, knowing that she needed reassuring but not knowing why. "You know you can tell me anything."_

_"I know." She breathed, taking comfort in his touch. "You remember what happened after we encountered the heir, yes?"_

_"Of course I do." He grinned at the memory. "I never forget when we do that."_

_She looked up at him, "Well... I'm, uh..." Her eyes went back to the corner of the room and his eyes followed hers, his confusion deepening._

_He stood, walking over to the small battered object and picking it up. "River is this... a pregnancy test?"_

_She didn't say anything, but nodded, her lips pressed  tightly together._

_"It's positive." He stated, glancing between her and the test in his hands. "Are you pregnant?"_

_River nodded again, her breathing still unstable. "It seems so." She murmured, having trouble holding herself together. She put her head back in her hands to hide her face. "I'm sorry, Doctor. I'm so sorry."_

_He was quite taken back by this, sitting next to her again, his hand gently rubbing her back. "Sorry? Why are you sorry?"_

_"Because..." She swallowed, still avoiding his gaze. "You're not mad?"_

_"Of course I'm not mad! I'm happy, River. We're having a baby!"_

_It was the first time since he arrived that she really looked him in the face. His whole expression was lit up with excitement and his smile could have split his face in half if it were any wider. "I thought... We had never talked about this, and with the Silence a-and the Daleks and all the people who would try to kill it... -I didn't even think we were compatible- and our lives are never in sync... what if something goes wrong?" She rambled, all her fears spilling over her lips somewhat involuntarily._

_His features softened and his arm around her tightened to pull her close. "We will make this work. We have a TARDIS and lots of people who would stand with us to protect our child. We'll be great parents, I just know it. Tell you what, from now on we'll be linear. Come with me. Travel with me."_

_She shook her head. "Doctor, you know I can't do that."_

_He sighed, knowing that would be her answer. "Here." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a necklace._

_It seemed like an ordinary thing, but to River seemed to shine brighter than anything else in the room. Her fingers ghosted along it, eventually taking it, "Where did you get this?"_

_He shrugged. "There's always something in my pocket that ends up there without my knowing. But as it turns out it's exactly what I want to give you right now."_

_"...Why?" Her eyes slowly moved back up to his._

_"It's a  perception filter, River. I don't know what Stormcage does to pregnant inmates, but I don't think it's good. It'll help you hide, keep you safe. You're bound to run into a younger version of me since you refuse to come with me. It'll be like a note to ourselves so we know where we are." It slowly dawned on him that she'd been wearing the necklace several times before. Most recently when he had faked his death and his younger self, the Ponds, and River were investigating her younger self in Florida. He was about to scold her for jumping off a New York skyscraper when he realized she hadn't done it yet. "...You'd better not do anything dangerous."_

_She nodded slowly, not bothering with a sassy comment. "You really want this... don't you."_

_He nodded almost instantly. "Yes, I really do. I love you, River." The words stood out in the stale air, something he didn't say often. "And this baby is more than I could ever ask for." He placed his hand delicately on her not yet round stomach. "A piece of you and a piece of me."_

_"But, Doctor..." She stood and crossed the cell, facing away from him. "I'm not a mother, I'm a psychopath. I can't- I can't care for a child. What if I hurt it? What if I can't protect it? Kovarian raised me as a weapon, I'm a thing made for harming... I don't think I can do this." She blamed her hormones for the hot lump caught in her throat._

_"You already are doing this." He said patiently. "You already are caring for our child, worrying about it's safety, and trying to protect it." She turned slowly to face him, her face full of confusion. "You've put the perception filter on."_

_River glanced down, not having realized the she'd put on the necklace. "...Oh, I didn't realize..."_

_He smiled softly and knowingly, going to her and putting his hands on either of her arms. "You will be an amazing mother, River. And you don't have to do it alone. I'll be here. Always."_

_She finally gave into his embrace, burying her face in his chest. "...Doctor?"_

_"Yes?"_

_She paused. "I love you, too."_

 

* * *

 

"Explain it again? Why aren't you at a hospital." Amy and Rory ask their daughter as she paces anxiously around their living room, hand supporting the small of her back. She had taken off the perception filter once the TARDIS had left. It isn't news for the Ponds, the Doctor informed them a while ago that River is pregnant. Though they haven't expected to be part of the birth, Amy imagines that River would have gone somewhere more suitable than here.

"You know I've been trying to keep this as much of a secret as I can." River starts again. "So there's no way I'm going to a hospital."

"But doctors have to keep medical records private." Rory points out.

"Stormcage has special access to any of my files and I have no doubt that the Silence, or any of the people who want me less alive, could easily get their hands on the information they needed." She grimaces and closes her eyes for a moment before resuming her pacing. She had deemed sitting to be too uncomfortable as soon as she arrived, restoring to a mix of walking and leaning on furniture.

"So why are you here then? Not that we don't want you here, but wouldn't the TARDIS be the best place for this to be happening?" He suppresses the urge to stand at rub her back, knowing she doesn't want anyone to touch her.

"Yeah, you were just with the Doctor, weren't you? That's how you got here." Amy adds.

"Not the Doctor I need. He was too young. He wasn't even married to me yet." River's tone gains an edge of worry for the Doctor's, her Doctor's, absence.

"Why would you go on the TARDIS with a young version of him if you knew you were in labour?"

"I didn't know, not until a little while ago."

"Wait, how long have you been in labour for?" Rory stands now, his concern growing.

"About five hours, I think." She confesses.

He has already learned about the differences between Gallifreyan and Human pregnancies, out of pure curiosity when he was first told he was going to be a grandad. "But River, that's... Have you felt the urge to push yet?" He asks, going into nurse mode. She nods slowly. "We have to get ready, you have to lie-"

"No." River says quickly. "Not without the Doctor. We are waiting for him."

 

* * *

 

_"And a last time." She murmured at the disappearing TARDIS.  The dampness and cold of the prison seemed to affect River more today, or maybe it was just her imagination. She was fighting as hard as she could against the tears that threatened to spill onto her cheeks. This couldn't be happening, not when she was carrying his child. That couldn't be their last kiss. She couldn't decide if she wanted to cry, or sleep, or punch something, but eventually sat on the cot out of pure shock of what just happened._

_She let the tears come, flowing like a waterfall down her face, and she couldn't stop them now if she tried. They were silent at first, but loud sobs began to escape her until it was the only thing that echoed down the empty concrete halls. Tears blurred her vision, not that she cared much, her eyes were mostly closed anyways. She felt like she was drowning in her sorrow. She wanted to step out of her body and slap herself and tell herself to snap out of it and be brave. She was tired, so tired of taping the broken parts of her back together and of hiding everything she was from the universe. She couldn't be brave anymore, she couldn't stay strong when it felt like one of her hearts had just been ripped out of her chest and-_

_Something warm covered her hands that were resting in her lap and when she opened her eyes, she saw it was someone else's hands over hers. Someone's hands with a Gallifreyan wedding ring. Her eyes slowly trailed up, following the lapels of a tweed jacket past the bowtie, to see a concerned look etched on the familiar face in front of her._

_"River." The Timelord brought his hand up to brush away the tears staining her cheeks. "What's the matter, my love?"_

_She stared at him, any words she might have caught somewhere in her throat. She knew this man, but more importantly, he knew her. Her hand touched his face on it's own accord as if to test if her imagination has conjured him up just to make her feel better. Her hand didn't go through him, as she half expected it to, and she threw her arms around him, still sobbing uncontrollably._

_He was patient with her, though he had no clue what was making her so upset. He knew that it was not his job to question, but to comfort. He rubbed her back soothingly and whispered sweet nothings to in her ear until her body stopped shaking and she relaxed in his arms. Through the time it took to calm her, he figured out when she was._

_"River." He started slowly, continuing to rock her gently. "The first time you met me, was not the last time I met you..."_

_She sniffled and nodded her head a bit to show she was listening._

_"The first time you were kissed by me, was not the last time I was kissed by you. Our lives aren't as back to front as you think they are." He pulled away from her, just enough so that he could look at her and press his lips softly to hers. "And my firsts, I promise, will not be your lasts."_

_Her sigh was hollow as she finally found her voice. "I don't want to raise this baby without you. I can't do it alone."_

_He tilted her chin up, "River Song, you will never have to do this alone."_

_She was silent, but clung to him again with less fear that he'd slip from her fingers. Her hearts steadied in her chest and her eyes were no longer red by the time they moved into the TARDIS._

* * *

_There are quiet, more peaceful times they have together. In the TARDIS library, which River often finds herself in, she caught her daft husband peeking at her from over the top of his book. Sometimes she pretended not to notice, but more often she beckoned him over to rub her feet. In the kitchen, when she decided to stay the night, he put pancake batter on her nose and kissed it off again._

_Those times, though under any other circumstance she would find much too domestic for her tastes, were comforting in a way. She has been afraid as she drew nearer to her due date, though she was not sure what of. Everything, she supposed._

_It was somewhere during the middle of the night and she was awake, writing in her diary. It was a method she used when she couldn't sleep and the Doctor wasn't around. Even though he was lying right next to her, she didn't wake him, only continuing to tell the blue book in her hands how afraid she was. Her baby was safe inside her, but she feared someone would take her -at least she thought it was a her- when she's born. Or something would happen, something would go wrong, like it always did..._

_She was so wrapped up in her writing she didn't notice her husband's eyes open. The Doctor shifted and turned to look at River. He said nothing, but watched her expression change to a somewhat fearful one as she pressed a hand to the side of her belly._

_He sat up, "River? Everything alright?"_

_She was slightly startled by his voice, having thought before that he had been sleeping. After a moment, she shook her head. "I'm not sure."_

_"What is it? What's wrong?" His tone gained a slightly frantic edge._

_"There's... something. A feeling, right here." She took his hand and pressed it to a spot on her round middle, looking anxiously between the Doctor and her belly._

_He waited for a moment, until he felt it too: a slight fluttering movement.  "River," He smiled softly. "That's kicking."_

_"Kicking?" She looked down at the bump that had been developing under her shirt for the past 15 weeks. Her expression was a bit stunned that it could be something so simple. "...Oh."_

_"What did you think it was?"_

_"I... I don't know... I've never felt it before." She was clearly not completely convinced._

_He kissed the spot delicately then moved to kiss her lips. "Our baby's just saying hello, love. It's nothing to fret about."_

_She nodded slowly, though she did fret. She'll fret at every movement, every kick that's to come, afraid that it will be the last. She'll squeeze his hand during ultrasounds and blame her hormones for the tears that will escape when she sees the black and white image of her baby._

_"Every thing is fine, Riv." He meant it too. He would tear the universe apart before anything bad happened to his family._

_Nodding again, she put her diary back on the nightstand and curled up in his arms, nuzzling her head beneath his chin. "...Promise?" She never expected to feel like this; so attached to someone she's never met, so willing to give up the universe to make sure her baby was safe. It was still a strange and unfamiliar thought that she was going be a mother. Is a mother, claims the Doctor. A whole life was completely dependent on her every move, now. Everything she ate, everything she did, she now did for two, but somehow it never felt like a burden._

_"Cross my hearts."_

* * *

_"Eliot." Rory suggested._

_"No." Amy shot it down._

_"Rosiline." This idea was from the Doctor._

_"No." Both the Ponds shook their heads._

_"...Allonzo?" He tried again_

_"Not a chance!" River swatted her husband's arm at that suggestion. The list they had compiled over the hour they had been sitting there, was written in River's diary. It consisted of about three names so far: Tessa, Matthew, and Violet._

_"Well you suggest some names then." The Doctor poked his wife's legs that she had draped over his. She was lounging on the couch, the long way, while he sat using her legs as a blanket. Each Pond had picked as armchair across from them._

_"I can't think of any that I particularly like... what if the baby doesn't end up liking their name?"_

_"A baby really won't have that strong of an opinion on their name." He pointed out, resuming rubbing her ankles._

_"I mean when it's older. What if they don't like it? What if we give them the wrong name? What if we name it we named it Julio and it grows up to be Juliet?"_

_"Well than, we could think of a unisex name." Rory suggested, the Doctor noting that he liked the name Julio._

_She groaned in annoyance, resting her head back on the arm of the couch.. "All the unisex names I can think of are dumb or too plain. Like Alex. Alex is too plain."_

_"Avery?" Amy piped up_

_"Ugh, no."_

_"Cameron?" Rory added._

_"Nope." She repeated. "Nothing seems to fit." She said rather hopelessly._

_"Erin, Michael, Jade, Francis, Skyler." The Doctor went down a list one ones he thought she might like as they popped into his head._

_"Erin isn't all too bad." She shrugged._

_"One for the list, then?" She nodded at this and he wrote it down. "That brings us to... four."_

_They continued in a circle, everyone suggesting names one by one. Amy could've made it a drinking game out of it: take a shot every time her daughter didn't like a name suggestion. The Scot would be very drunk if she played. "Corey?_

_"Mm... No."_

_"Asher? "_

_"Definitely not."_

_"Emma?" She shook her head, everyone silently making a frustrated noise._

_"Doctor Jr."_

_River propped herself up on her elbows and glared at her husband for even suggesting such a thing. "If you're not going to take this seriously-"_

_"Well I'm trying, but you keep shooting down everything. Why do you have to be so stubborn about this?" He crossed his arms over his chest and pouted like a child._

_River wondered if he'd be as childish when the baby came -goddess, she hoped not-. "I just don't want to mess something this important up."_

_Both were quiet for a few moments. "Donna." The Doctor said._

_"I thought we agreed, no naming it after companions."_

_"What about as a middle name? Please?"_

_She sighed then gave a small smile. "...I think it's a lovely middle name."_

_He grinned at her, a sad sort of grin as it always was when he thought of the companions he'd lost. "Thomas." He suggested again._

_She considered, "Too formal."_

_"Isabel?"_

_The room was silent where they expected the hear River's disapproval. All eyes soon turned to her questioningly. She was smiling, beaming in fact. "I think that's a perfect name." Her voice was soft._

_Amy cheered. "Yes! You've finally settled on something!"_

_"Not so fast. Now we have to think of a boy's name." The Doctor said, crossing Violet and Tessa off the list._

_The Ponds groaned. "I'll make some more tea."_

* * *

 

It strikes him like a blow to the chest. The Doctor doesn't even know what triggered the thought or how he's figured it out. All he has been doing was thinking about his wife, his very pregnant wife and perhaps that he should get her to stay with him for the last week or two of her pregnancy, when it clicks. That River, his River, all those many years ago when he hadn't even known that she was his River, his River in pain...

He has to sit down as panic overtakes him and he goes through his memory. He certainly remembers that day, the way her hand gripped the railing while the other gripped her stomach like she was going to vomit. Her breathing was slightly heavier than normal and he knew now that the thin sheen of sweat on her forehead was not his imagination. And the necklace. The very perception filter he gave to her when she first told him about the baby. He knows now just exactly why she was in such a rush to leave him, he knows what she was hiding but it's not a secret to him anymore. It's a baby. His baby and he is certainly not going to miss it being born.

_I'll be fine at my parent's house. Please go... and come back when you know._

He jumps to his feet so fast that he falls over. Cursing to himself, he stands up straight again and tries not to trip over his own feet as he rapidly pulls levers and presses buttons. The TARDIS lurches forwards and he is flung sideways in another string of curses. Finally managing to land, he bursts out the doors and into the Pond's living room. He's met with the sound of his wife screaming in pain, coming from upstairs.

_I'm not sick, Doctor. I'm not injured. I just... I can't do this now and I can't do this without you here._

"Just breathe, River." Rory instructs, demonstrating by puffing out his own cheeks. River imitates him, squeezing her eyes shut as pain races through her. They are waiting in the bedroom commonly known as the guests room, but more personally known as River's. She's kneeling in front of her bed, leaning on it for support and gripping the sheets in her hands when contractions come. She would have held Amy's and Rory's hands if she wasn't sure she would break their bones. Amy is rubbing her back as Rory coaches her through each new wave of pain.

"Where. The. Hell. Is. My. Husband?" She puffs. They have waited much longer for the Doctor than they should have and Rory has a feeling that this baby isn't going to wait much longer.

They hear footsteps pounding up the stairs before a flustered looking Doctor bursts into the room. "Please tell me I didn't miss it!"

A groan of pain from his wife confirms that their baby is still inside her. "Shut up and hold my hand!" She growls at him and he rushes to her side. The Ponds wince as they hear the crack of bones the moment River grasps the Doctor's hand, but his face stays calm, as if he doesn't notice. What ever pain he is now enduring is nothing compared to what River is going through.

"River, you have to start pushing now. " Rory says, looking over the supplies he'd earlier gathered. "Do you want to help on to the bed?"

She shakes her head. "No. I don't want to move." Her words are strained and punctuated with small gasps.

He nods and moves to position towels beneath her knees. She leans back on her heals enough that she can spread her knees apart. The Doctor is ushered out of the way as Rory positions himself by River's side, his gloved hands at the ready to deliver his grandchild. River pulls her husband back to her, but with Amy occupying her other side, he gets pressed carefully against her back as she takes his hands again to squeeze. She leans a bit to him and he rests his head on her shoulder so he is able to peer over and see what is going on, but mostly gets a view of her round middle.

River's eyebrows furrow as the pained expression returns to her face. "Uungh!" This contraction brings a cry that is louder than the last as she now bears down with it, clenching her teeth. Her family's words are of encouragement but she can hardly hear, let alone think through the pain. She's left gasping for air by the time pain subsides, only to let another contraction to immediately start building.

A string of Gallifreyan obscenities falls from her mouth along with noises of discomfort to which the Doctor responds soothingly in the same dialect. It's one of the first times the Ponds have heard the language spoken out loud, and it sounds a bit like if the universe could be put into words.

The baby's head puts unbearable pressure on River's cervix as she pushes, and as ten minutes turn into thirty, the force turns into a burn from it stretching her.

The pattern that has established itself does not involve much talking aside from the occasional swear from River.

-One, two three, push

Shout in pain,

Breathe, breathe

Again, two, three, push-

Rory announces that he can see the baby's head crowning. Sweat coats River's skin now, glistening on her face, neck, and thighs. Her curls stick to the side of her face and the nightie she previously changed into clings to her skin. The Doctor's hands have gone numb, but he can still feel the strain River puts into pushing. He feels the way that her whole body tenses up, and the way she holds her breath to keep back her scream before it builds up and forces its way from her lungs.

Her chest heaves between the nearly constant moments of agony, trying to bring in as much air as she can, or to at least create some sense of rhythmic breathing. She collapses back against the Doctor during these between-moments, an opportunity he uses to murmur comforts to her and urge her on.

"The head's almost out. Come on, River, you can do this." Rory says, Amy's encouragement following, and the Doctor's comforts as well.

River's eyes stay screwed shut as her back arches and she bears down again and forces the baby's head from her. "Auugh!" Discomfort would be a great understatement to what feels like her hips being wrenched apart. She seems even more spent than she was before, when the pain ebbs. The Doctor squeezes her hands, or at least he thinks he does since he can't really feel them, and she squeezes much harder in response. "I can't do this anymore!" She whimpers. No one in the room knew before now that River's capable of making a noise showing such vulnerability.  "P-please, I can't!" She makes the sound again, not in any sense by her own will. She hates the feeling of helplessness that has overcome her, but at the moment she finds it impossible to fight.

"You can, Melody." Amy says. "You're so close, just a few more pushes."

River shakes her head. "It hurts. It h-hurts so much, please..." She pleads. It does occur to her that Amy has done this before, alone at Demons Run, but whatever she went through wasn't this. River has a fully Gallifreyan child forcing it's way from her, and though Amy can comfort her and give her tips on breathing, she cannot say she's experienced the kind of pain that makes River Song, of all people, cry out for mercy. "I can't! Make it stop- Ngh!"

The contractions are stilling coming strong, but she doesn't push with them. She doesn't push at all, only moans and whimpers with each growing pain. "River..." The Doctor doesn't realize that he's speaking his own language. "You have to push now. " She shakes her head. "You can, you can do it. I know you can. You're River Song. You've fought whole armies by my side, you saved galaxies, you can do this."

"It hurts. It's going to kill me." She mewls in Gallifreyan as well.

"It's not. I promise you it's not. I know it hurts, but you've got to push. It will be over soon. You can make the pain stop if you just push." He murmurs.

She said nothing for another moment, crying out with another contraction. "I'm not ready ...I'm scared."

"Never run when you're scared, River. Never hide, never stop fighting. I know it's scary, I really do, but I know you can do it. Just breathe, take it one step at a time. Breathe, push. You're stronger than you think. You're so, so strong. Stronger than I could ever be. You're bringing our baby into the universe and you're doing such a good job at it. Just push, River. You're almost there. Our baby is almost here. Push. "

It takes her another moment or two, but finally, trembling, she bears down again. "Aaghh!!" She howls in pain and the Doctor continues his words of support.

She pushes again, hearing her parents' excitement as they tell her one more, just one more. She screams louder than she knew she could scream, her throat feeling like it's tearing, and flops back against the Doctor.

She is still struggling to breath normally, but the pain is gone now, a bit to her confusion. She opens her eyes and sees that all three people around her are beaming. She follows their line of sight to the red and unhappy infant in Rory's hands. It's cries are much quieter than hers were, and she would smile too if she had the energy.

The Doctor says something, but she doesn't hear. Her eyes shut slowly; she can hear his voice growing concerned and distant. Very distant.

 

-x-

 

River is in the bed when she opens her eyes again. Still the in Ponds house, still the same date. It doesn't take her long to piece together that she had passed out from exhaustion, or over exerting herself, or possibly both. She is still extremely tired, but looks around anyways. Her belly is flat and very sore. There is golden light from the sun setting out side. The moment is peaceful, which she very much appreciates after all of the commotion.

A noise catches her attention and she turns her head slowly to see her husband and parents standing on the other side of the room, fawning over a little bundle of blankets. The Ponds are cooing, the Doctor is straightening his bowtie. He says something that makes the other's laugh.

River opens her mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. She swallows, takes a moment, and tries again. This time she makes a soft moan which is enough to catch the attention of her husband. he looks up at her, grinning, the Ponds' heads lifting as well.

They are all still wearing the same smiles she remembers them wearing before she passed out and she manages a weak smile back at them.

Her parents come next to her and Rory helps her sit up and lean forwards as Amy stacks pillows behind her back. She leans back but stays sitting up with support from the pillows. The Doctor comes over to her, too, with the bundle in his arms, his smile somehow even bigger than before. "River Song, my wife, my wonderful, wonderful wife... You have given me the best gift I could ever ask for." She smiles softly as he sits carefully beside her.

He hands her the bundle of blankets and she can see that there is a little person inside. Her baby, their baby, the most amazing thing River has ever seen, reaching up at her. She lifts her hand and lets the baby wrap it's hand around her finger, trying to put it in it's mouth. The baby's eyes are the same green as River's, but it's hair is dark like the Doctor's. River is completely captured, holding the baby close to her. She takes a breath, and suddenly she's not so scared any more.

The Doctor kisses his wife's forehead, then his child's. "Meet Isabel Donna Song. Our daughter."

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> The baby is named after a teacher who was very dear to me.
> 
> EDIT:
> 
> Ayele on FF.net asked me: "...I need to know what sort of arrangement they're going to resort to. Is the Doctor going to raise that baby, or River or the Ponds or some other trusted friend? In any case, how will they be able to completely conceal her identity?"
> 
> So for those who were wondering, here's the arrangement: The Doctor is way, WAY to attached to his daughter to ever let her out of his sight, at least for the first year. He's giddy and overjoyed at the little person he and River made together. He's also over protective and constantly makes adjustments to boost the TARDIS's stealth and shields. River lives with the Doctor for the first six weeks after the birth, adjusting to late night feedings and changing diapers. After that, she goes back and forth from her life as an adventurer to her life as a mother. She's not there constantly, but see's the Doctor and her daughter much more often than she used to. He has keys to her flat were she leaves bottles of milks and sometimes little gifts if he comes there while she's out. The Doctor takes pictures of EVERYTHING, and I do mean everything. First bath, first tooth, little smiles his daughter makes. Since River misses some of it, he makes sure to document it for her. She's there for birthday parties and anniversaries and she helps Isabel take her first steps. Though, there are occasions where the Doctor wants to have a non-child-safe adventure or wants to go out alone with River and those times he leaves Isabel with the more than willing Ponds or occasionally Vastra to babysit.


End file.
